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Trying not to think

For many people with OCD, being creative is an outlet to express their feeling about OCD and how it impacts on their daily lives. This poem is one such example.

Trying not to think
By Kerry

Trying not to think that I’ve not to think about it
Yeah yeah I know I sound like a right twit
But really how can I not think about it when
I have to think about not thinking then
I have to think about not thinking about not thinking
Meantime the first thought isn’t sinking
No it’s gaining momentum and starting to grow
Picking up all the thoughts of not thinking as it goes
Stop that’s enough no more this has got to end
That’s the message I’m trying to send
It doesn’t get sent once or twice
No even 3 or 4 times would be nice
The message gets sent again and again
Oh my goodness what a pain
I try to stop it I try my best
The solution I have is just a pest
Count things ok that’s what I’ll do
No I’ll line them up and count them too
Or could I just make sure everything is straight
Is this helping me? That’s the big debate
You see the thing I’m supposed to be not thinking about
Is still at the top it just gave me a shout
So now I’m back to the stop thinking that again
This kicks in the not thinking about stop thinking aaarrg im insane
Will it help to bang my head against the wall?
Will it help to curl up and make myself small?
Will anything help is there any hope
Please say there is and throw me the rope
So I can grab on and pull myself out
So I can get rid of all the worry and stop the doubt
Maybe someday my head will be free
Maybe someday I can just be

Poem written by Kerry Lockerbie 11/07/2010

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