What I wished my loved ones knew
To all my family and friends,
I know it's hard to comprehend,
Why I wash my scalp until it's dry,
why I wash my hands 'til they bleed, and I cry.
To all my family and friends,
I know it's hard to comprehend,
why I find it hard to eat your food,
I promise I'm not trying to be rude.
To all my family and friends,
I know it's hard to comprehend,
why I'm on the edge at large events,
I bring my Dettol spray, my only defence.
To all my family and friends,
I know it's hard to comprehend,
why I panic when someone is unwell,
I do try to hide that my mind is in hell.
To all my family and friends,
I want you to know that I'm trying.
I'm in a war with a monster that dictates my thoughts,
a monster that wants to ruin my life.
Little does it know, I will continue to fight.
Cooking without reassurance that I won't get ill,
trying to keep calm when someone feels unwell.
You've seen me resist non-stop handwashing.
Although it may not seem like much,
I am recovering.
Yours sincerely, Charlotte
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