Holly - Just My OCD

Our Young Ambassador Holly submitted us this poem for Januarys' poetry month!

Just My OCD

by Holly

‘I’m So OCD!’ I hear you cry,
you’re across the room from me,
I let out a sigh...

You do realise OCD is a lot more than that?
It's something you can’t control.
It’s not a switch you can turn on and off,
these stereotypes are taking its toll.
It’s not just about being colour co-ordinated,
or having things in order.
OCD is not a funny quirk,
it’s a debilitating mental disorder.

I obsess about things,
day in, day out.
I perform compulsions and rituals

I feel I can’t live without.
People without OCD won’t know how it feels,
to think horrible taboo thoughts that seem extremely real.
Of course I’m not going to act on these mental intrusions,
but just having them there brings me to multiple conclusions.

I check things again and again,
a few times at least,
to make sure everything is nice and safe,
so I can finally feel at peace.
Not long after my last ritual,
the thoughts turn up once more.
My chest tightens,
my legs go weak and I feel shivers down to my core.
I know that I’m being irrational,
I know what will be will be,
just sit with the thoughts, until they pass,
it’s just my OCD.

There is a way out however,
a light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s hard to see it sometimes,
the mind is like a funnel.
There will be blips along the way,
but it will never last.
I won’t always feel like this, one day it will be in my past.
But for now I’m taking life day by day,
how it should be,
and if I’m having a bad day, I remember,
it is just my OCD.